


song cry

by ringthealarm



Category: Ariana Grande (Musician), Beyoncé Knowles (Musician), Hip Hop RPF, Pop Music RPF
Genre: Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Drug Dealing, F/F, Mentions of Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22624708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringthealarm/pseuds/ringthealarm
Summary: picture all the possibilities. it sounds like a love song.
Relationships: Ariana Grande/Beyoncé Knowles
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	song cry

**Author's Note:**

> loosely inspired by song cry by jay-z. loosely.

_i’ve got to live with the fact i did you wrong forever_

.

beyoncé took a long hit from her blunt. she missed ariana to the point where her bones ache. she could contact her if she wanted, sure, but she fucked up so much. she thought nothing of these hos who hit up her line all the time. she could have any bitch and she did. at least before she met ariana. 

ariana was different. not like a 'she’s innocent and i need to protect her' type of different, but she wanted nothing from beyoncé. ariana was probably the kindest person beyoncé has ever met. she didn’t care that beyoncé intrinsically was a drug lord at this point. she knew nothing of her past or her present life. she was just interested in beyoncé, the girl originally from houston. not the beyoncé, known as peaches or yoncé or swallowtail, the most feared and respected in brooklyn running a drug cartel. 

she got under beyoncé’s skin. not out of irritation, but confusion. she didn’t know how to be nice openly like that; just to be vulnerable. she wasn’t used to people wanting to care about the woman behind the hard facade she put up for the world for years now. she wanted love. she wanted someone to come home to every night and hold her, listen to her ramble when she was afraid that she would lose her life every single minute of the day. she wanted someone to listen to her cry when she was utterly terrified of everything she kept at bay in her mind. she wanted someone to just laugh and chill without it coming with favors or a price and see the girl she kept away except for under 5 people on this earth. 

she found that in ariana.

ariana. ariana. ariana.

at first, she kept the tiny blonde girl with doe brown eyes at arm’s length. she didn’t want to hurt her feelings if she just hit it and ran (that’s why she didn’t run the first time she met her, even though she without a doubt would hit). she didn’t want to mess around her mind or heart. 

beyoncé inhaled out after her lungs couldn’t take anymore and put the blunt in a glass ashtray on the table. she couldn’t get her out of her mind. everything reminded beyoncé of the always smiling woman. beyoncé wanted to yell at this point. this was so sick to her. at this point, she leaned back on her couch and laid on her right side, adjusting her body straight. now staring at the ceiling in her penthouse, she was smacked and lonely. she was always lonely but she felt it super hard when ariana wasn’t around her.

she ran one of her manicured hands through the end of her braids, and another free one was on her thigh, now reaching the waistband of her jeans. when she was high and thinking about the girl she loved, she got so horny. she started to replay the first moment when she met ariana and her senses were going in overdrive. beyoncé then took both hands to take off her white jeans and black lace underwear, now taking a nail outside her delicate folds. she hissed and moaned softly to how wet she was now. beyoncé then went up to her clit and rubbed softly, moaning louder. she took her other free hand and took off her top. the memory of her meeting ariana and that night she had with her now in full force.

.

_never in bunches, just me and you. i loved your point of view ‘cause you held no punches_

.

beyoncé first saw her when her crew brought bitches around their hangout joint. ariana looked so out of place here. she was too cute to be in these parts (also she was exactly beyoncé’s type). she had platinum blonde hair in a low ponytail, wearing an off-shoulder yellow cardigan and tight black jeans accompanied with red bottoms. 

yeah. this for sure was beyoncé’s type. a complete bullseye for her.

“bluethroat, who’s she?” she nudged at her best confidant, who’s shawn carter or jay-z, but she gave everyone bird names in her crew as aliases (at one point when she was a teenager, she was obsessed with all types of birds as if she was some white horse girl in middle school).

shawn smirked, “oh shit. you finally found your bitch for the night.”

beyoncé rolled her eyes. “boy, fuck you. she just looks like a fish out of water. i’ve never seen her around here…” she trailed off watching the unnamed girl sip her drink (it was something fruity), playing on her phone aimlessly at the bar. was she shy? was she lost? who was she even with? beyoncé wondered all these questions. she needed to know as to how the fuck she’s here in the grungy spot, with these people now. 

“i’ve never seen her around here either but talk to the girl, bey,” shawn said, one of the few people to call her her actual name and her closest friend. one of the few people that knows she’s a strictly lesbian too after their very short romantic relationship went dead after she had a breakdown when they were about to get intimate once. probably the few people that she trusts, not in this operation but ever in this wretched hell life.

beyoncé fidgeted and shawn studied her. he knew and could tell she didn’t want it to be a one-time thing with her. he’s the only person that can read everything about her and get through her mind and sees straight through the image she puts out for the world. shawn respects beyoncé, not his boss yoncé or peaches or swallowtail. just beyoncé knowles, his best and only true friend as well. 

“so?”

“uh, yeah. i will.” beyoncé got up from her spot on the couch in the far back, slowly walking to the unknown girl.

“fam, don’t fuck it up!” was all she heard he heard say to her back. she turned around, giving him a grin, before completing what she set out to do.

beyoncé reached the bar and asked for a scotch on the rocks. she sat down on a stool next to ariana, and the girl was still scrolling on her phone. 

“you seem bored as fuck, babe,” beyoncé said lazily. ariana looked up finally, her brown eyes looking wide. she seemed like a deer in headlights, which made beyoncé swoon even more. ariana was super pretty even up close. beyoncé was gonna fuck her tonight, no matter what the outcome of her talking to her ever again after this was.

ariana just kept smiling shyly, “not bored. just--” ariana stopped herself awkwardly. she didn’t know what to say to the stranger beside her. 

“out of place,” beyoncé finished for her. ariana just nodded simply.

before ariana could say anything else, the bartender passed beyoncé’s scotch and she started sipping. ariana couldn’t stop marveling at her side profile. she was probably the most gorgeous woman she’s ever seen in person like this. ariana knew exactly who she was and where she was at. it didn’t phase her though because of her friends. they are always around these crowds, which is a death wish in itself but messing around with people in this business gets you spoiled heavily. ariana didn’t care and that was not her scene but she came with her friends because she was bored on this day and had nothing else to do. also, she probably wanted to smoke someone out but she didn’t think she would catch the eye of the person running this whole operation in general. ariana didn’t know if that was terrifying or something she should be amazed at.

it was both. 

beyoncé turned back in her direction and both of them shared a look. that look where you know whatever this interaction was, it’s going to another level.

“hm. what’s your name, babygirl?” beyoncé asked, not breaking the stare with the smaller girl, her mind going through a marathon right now.

“ariana,” her saying that while tilting her head and licking her pretty pink lips. she swore she saw the older woman jolt a bit, knowing the effect she has on her right now and she loved that shit.

“i’m yoncé. maybe peaches if you want that too. but i say we should get out of here.” beyoncé still starting at this mysterious girl intensely. ariana would be lying if she said she wasn’t attracted to beyoncé because she was acting the same fucking way, about to tear off her clothes at the bar if she kept staring at her like she was about to be devoured like a full course meal. 

ariana turned around a bit to take out two $10 bills to throw on the counter and put her leather coat on. the girl got up from her spot and walked to exit. ariana stopped and turned around and gave beyoncé a small smile and mouthed ‘come on, baby.’

beyoncé didn’t have to think twice and followed after her instantly. 

.

ariana was now in beyoncé’s penthouse, straddling her lap, now naked and grinding on the drug lord’s leg. after they left the club, beyoncé insisted to take her out to dinner then do whatever the night took them. ariana passed on that, insisting they just go back to beyoncé’s place and 'just hang'. they both knew what that was code for.

the more ariana spoke, the more beyoncé was entranced by her. she felt like she mirrored her in so many ways. ariana delt with an unspoken past too; her only big difference is that she had a bright disposition and always took her pain in stride. ariana didn’t say anything about her life that night, but the way she carried herself, beyoncé saw that in her. the older woman thought she had the most beautiful aura surrounding her. they smoked and did shrooms and now ariana was talking that shit like beyoncé wanted her to the minute when she saw her walk-in her spot. 

ariana was pecking beyoncé’s neck on purpose, leaving hickeys. beyoncé on any other day would tell her to cut that shit out but she didn’t care about this one. she even giggled when the blonde was leaving them in visible spots. this chick was different, that’s for sure. she would never let a bitch do this to her, let alone someone she just met hours ago. 

“ariana, please…” beyoncé laughed even louder and ariana thought her laugh was the nicest sound ever. ariana detached her lips from beyoncé’s neck, and they held a look again, both grinning. beyoncé reached and caressed her face, putting her now down hair that was in her face behind her ear. usually having a moment this intimate with someone would have shaken her up, but this felt right. beyoncé kept stroking her cheek and she felt ariana’s small dimple up, ariana now gently snatching her palm and keeping on her face. ariana was so taken aback by beyoncé’s stare. she looked at you with authority and coldness but also she had such a soft and delicate look in her eyes, almost childlike. beyoncé’s eyes were such a beautiful shade of hazel. ariana would be swooning if she wasn’t before now. 

“you’re so pretty,” ariana breathed out. beyoncé smiled softly again.

beyoncé pulled her in to kiss her plump lips again. she really could get lost making out with her. beyoncé parted her lips more to give ariana more access, then ariana slipped her tongue in her mouth, which drove beyoncé to the brink. she was such a good kisser to the point that if that’s all they did, she would have been content. 

but they both had better plans, fortunately. 

beyoncé detached from ariana’s lips with a loud smack, now using her fingertips to brush ariana’s light pink nipples. ariana shivered at the contact with a moan and they instantly got hard. beyoncé then removed one her hands off ariana’s left nipple with her mouth still, keeping her other hand on her right one, gently massaging it. ariana’s moans increased. 

she felt (and surely felt) ariana grind on her right thigh, making beyoncé now flicking and swirling her tongue around her nipples with more force, making ariana cry out louder.

“you can be as loud and nasty as you want in here, babygirl. this pussy mine now,” beyoncé said with her mouth full, bucking her leg upward on ariana’s pussy, making her moan uncontrollably.

“mhm. oh, fuck,”

“talk your shit now, baby. daddy wants to hear you loud and clear,” beyoncé then again repeated the leg action more forcefully, making ariana moan louder once more as she wanted. she wanted to make her forget everything tonight. 

“ride my thigh harder. you dripping like a fountain and i love it, baby,” beyoncé then leaned up to whisper in her ear and suck on her earlobe. 

the smaller girl did what she was asked to and put both her arms around beyoncé’s neck to keep her steady. she was louder than before, riding the fuck out of beyoncé’s thigh, while beyoncé put firmly put her hands on ariana’s lower hips so she doesn’t fall off.

“oh god!” ariana moaned out. beyoncé could tell the blonde girl was close by the way she was sounding.

“keep going for daddy. you’re so fucking sexy,” 

ariana was about to go over the edge any second.

“ahh fuck!” her moans were so broken and drawn out now.

“you better cum for yoncé. i wanna hear you scream, pretty baby,”

ariana rode her leg for several seconds more and then she came with a light yell, her on the verge of seeing stars in her eyes when she had them closed. ariana then held on to beyoncé closer, trying to calm down and regain her composure, beyoncé feeling ariana’s body vibrate. 

“you’re so hot, babe,” beyoncé broke the hug and went back to kissing her pretty pink lips again when ariana started to calm down. ariana reciprocated the kiss back, slipping her tongue back in the older woman’s mouth again, hearing her moan softly. 

here we go.

ariana started to adjust herself off beyoncé’s lap slowly giving her a look. beyoncé picked up on that quickly and then led ariana to her bedroom, hand in hand.

once beyoncé got ariana on her bed, ariana straddled her again making beyoncé grin genuinely. instead of kissing her lips, ariana started to lick beyoncé’s right nipple for a bit making the older woman hiss in anticipation. then ariana told beyoncé to lay down and ariana started to adjust herself downward admiring beyoncé’s toned body. she could tell the woman loved to work on her legs and stomach the most... and her ass. ariana loved that the most overall.

ariana kissed (and especially licked) beyoncé’s abs and she started to whine louder, making the blonde woman smirk inwardly. 

ariana started to be a little shit and wanted to tease her so she focused on that for a bit and slowly went down to beyoncé’s thighs, licking and giving her hickeys there too, making beyoncé laugh-moan again. ariana started to tell beyoncé was about to say something out loud at this point since her leg always jerked slightly when ariana was close to what beyoncé wanted her to do. 

“ariana, fuck! do it already!” beyoncé was about to beg and she didn’t do that for hardly anyone. but god, she didn’t give a fuck right now. 

“do what, bey?”

“uh, fuck me! eat my pussy, baby! i want to ride your pretty face so badly, please!” beyoncé all but shrieked her sentence out. 

ariana then gave a long lick on beyoncé’s outer folds and beyoncé moaned the loudest she has all night. ariana then put beyoncé’s legs on both of her shoulders, pulling beyoncé’s pussy upwards in her face and then she went to work.

ariana started to swirl her tongue around and on her outer lips and inside the folds, licking and sucking, loving the sounds beyoncé was making right now. she tasted like heaven.

beyoncé then put her hands on ariana’s head, making her go deeper. ariana then actually put her tongue inside her hole and was practically moaning uncontrollably at this point, talking all shit to her, which ariana found so hot, so she started to rub her clit during. beyoncé must have felt the vibrations of ariana’s gargled moans inside her because of the way beyoncé went louder.

“damn, baby. you’re so fucking good. keep fucking me like that, mmm oh shit!” 

ariana could tell the woman was about to nut (also so was she with her hand), so ariana took her tongue out her hole and went to put beyoncé’s clit in her mouth to suck like a vacuum. beyoncé was screaming at this point. 

“fuck! right there, bitch! i’ll cum on your pretty face any second now!” when ariana heard that, she moaned so loudly, rubbing faster on herself. 

“uh, shit! keep going! you’re so fucking good!” ariana started to swirl her tongue around beyoncé’s clit now. ariana felt beyoncé’s legs moving more and getting tighter wrapped around her head, knowing she was about to release any second.

“ari, fuck! i can’t--” ariana heard her trail off then beyoncé came with a scream, and her cum was so creamy. ariana loved those types so fucking much. ariana then came as well a couple of seconds later when she was cleaning her cum up with her tongue (making beyoncé nut again).

ariana slowly started to move up to beyoncé’s face and then they started to make out again heavily. 

“sit on my face, bey.” ariana asked between kisses and beyoncé smiled for the umpteen time that night alone and she obliged, both of them sharing a small laugh. beyoncé never told ariana directly but that was one of the most special nights of her life with anyone.

.

_we used to use umbrellas to face the bad weather. so now we travel first class to change the forecast_

.

beyoncé went back to the present, now fingering herself deep at this point. she hated all she thought about these days is would ariana like this? would ariana be happy over this? what is ariana thinking today? how much ariana touches herself as much as she does when she’s not around anymore?

beyoncé took a sharp breath in and moaned when she curled her two fingers and hit her spot repeatedly, thinking about how much she would want ariana to watch her right now, while the blonde fingers herself too. she then went faster.

then she came instantly. the woman always on her mind. 

ariana never leaves it anyway. 

_._

_though i can't let you know it, pride won't let me show it. pretend to be heroic, that's just one to grow with._

_._

after ariana and beyoncé’s first night together, beyoncé called her the next day to see if she got home safely after their nightcap and insisted they see each other again.

“are you asking me on a date, swallowtail?” ariana practically smirked and beyoncé rolled her eyes in mock annoyance.

“girl, fuck you!” 

beyoncé couldn’t stop grinning that whole night.

.

_you don't throw away what we had, just like that. i was just fuckin' them girls, i was gon' get right back_

.

beyoncé then hit up normani after she was done, the only other person she would die for on her team. beyoncé gave her the alias hummingbird because normani (along with beyoncé only) had a beautiful singing voice. normani was beyoncé’s other best friend. they fucked a lot in the past and were in a past relationship since the eight years they’ve known each other, meeting beyoncé when she turned 23, but in the end, they weren’t romantically compatible. they moved on from that silly shit and they were best friends who if they needed to let steam off at rare times, they both would get a nut if possible.

“beyoncé, talk to her. i can only listen to you cry over her so many times. you my trill bitch for life at this point, but enough of this. enough of this self-pity. you know exactly what to do,”

normani paused, “ariana would want you to call her. she wants you to chase and fight for her.”

normani is the most understanding of ariana more than just a casual bitch beyoncé would usually bring around her life. normani knew ariana since childhood which made normani flabbergasted when beyoncé publicly brought her around (ariana and normani reconnected that day too). she was gratefully comforted that beyoncé found someone that nice for her again. normani wanted beyoncé to have connections outside of this business. ariana was good for beyoncé and she rooted for them. she hadn’t seen her this happy with anyone or with anything since she’s known her. she was about to knock some sense into her.

“yeah.”

“bey, you know what to do. you fucked up. you can fix this though. i’ve never seen you this broken up about another person ever since...” normani trailed off not wanting to finish that open thought they both knew implied.

“you are in love with her.” she finished saying. 

normani was right. she was in love with ariana and she didn’t know how to react to that normally.

.

_shit, i'm a man with pride, you don't do shit like that. you don't just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that_

.

beyoncé heard ariana say ‘hello’ but she sounded tired, which made beyoncé feel more broken than what she was.

“ariana? please come over. i--” beyoncé furrowed her eyebrows and stopped herself. she didn’t know what to say next. she just had no idea what to say. she ruined a good thing with them and out of fear.

ariana paused before saying anything. she wanted to watch herself too. she knew beyoncé was hurting like she was and that anything said by both of them could either go more wrong or finally right.

“ight. i’ll be up around you in 40.” before beyoncé could say anything else, ariana hung up.

beyoncé didn’t know if she felt overjoyed or terrified but she was just happy ariana didn’t hang up the line entirely. 

.

beyoncé’s mind was running so fast. what would she say to ariana now? how can she make all this better? beyoncé wasn’t good with this love shit or having a stable relationship. after her family died when she was a kid then she was sent off to foster care. she was only 7 when both her parents and little sister got in a tragic car crash. she always wondered what her mom would say to beyoncé when she’s 38 now. how her dad would scold her and probably kick her out of the house for always being defiant in her teenage years. how her baby sister would grow up to be now who was 5 years younger than she was. 

after her family’s funeral, she relocated to brooklyn and the once genuinely happy girl she was disappeared and she buried that child innocence along with her family. she always moved from family to family, building to building. the thing was, she wasn’t even rebellious at first. she was so quiet and withdrawn that everyone thought she was mentally disturbed because she refused to speak for a period of time and who could blame her when her immediate family died in one night like it was nothing. that assessment was correct still though. her ‘rebellious’ phase started when she was 17 and knew friends that were slanging drugs. she could have been normal and just went to college when she was 18 but no. she graduated high school and left 'home' a month later when she found and picked up escort work (that's why she still has and keeps the peaches nickname). 

to be honest, beyoncé could have left this life years ago. this life was not fun or enjoyable for her ever. the paranoia that comes with it suffocates her before she goes to sleep. she knows she has enemies, people that want her dead, people that want to avenge their fallen sisters and brothers and friends and lovers and mothers and fathers. she could care less about getting arrested anymore. she’s been in prison twice but being killed by another man because she killed for being in this business is something that keeps her pacing at night more than anything. she doesn’t even like her hard persona anymore but it’s the only thing she knows at this point. the hustle and the money is what kept her doing this shit. 

until she met ariana.

ariana reminded her of a girl named nicki, her real name onika, was the first girl she loved. nicki wanted her to stop hustling completely and be with her. they wanted to move out of the country, go live in paris or some shit. she was going to do that until nicki was shot dead in her home. a sniper hit as if she was some fucking government official. beyoncé was always closed off but she wasn’t the same after that. only shawn and normani knew how much that affected her and they both slowly started to see her personality shift even more. even in private, it was different. beyoncé for months after that was ruthless. she went up and shot the person who killed the woman she wanted to give her all to. she even tortured him and his crew before she was done. on any other day, she would have just did a clean shot and walked away but this was personal and they both knew that. ever since that day, she gave up on love and relationship mess completely. she could never go through that again.

until she met ariana.

ariana was refreshing to her. she made her feel that love she once felt 8 years ago. she never thought anyone could fill the void nicki did but ariana was repairing the deep, dark crevices of her heart and that put fear in her. she didn’t want ariana to get hurt because beyoncé was feared and people wanted her head on a pike. instead, she withdrew from the blonde. ariana didn’t get it but beyoncé had to tell her. she had to tell her before she lost her forever and that would be just as bad people going after her to hurt beyoncé. 

beyoncé knew this time was coming though. she started to make plans to hand everything over to shawn. she was almost 40 and both he and normani knew she wanted to do more than this for the rest of her life. she had to give it up high and dry. when she saw ariana tonight, no matter how it goes with them, she has to slowly leave this city and give up her reign. half of the reasons were she was exhausted but the other half was ariana. she was in love with her and that was it. beyoncé didn’t want her to have the same fate as nicki. she wanted better for her. for them. 

.

beyoncé heard her system buzz then told security to open the gate so ariana could come up. a couple of minutes later, she heard the doorbell ring. beyoncé felt her hands shake but she went to the fancy door to open it, seeing the face she missed and desired to see for months now.

“hi.”

.

_still, i left you for months on end. it's been months since i checked back in_

.

after ariana’s and beyoncé’s actual first date (that also ended with them fucking), they started to see each other constantly. beyoncé didn’t have to tell her that it was dangerous hanging around her but ariana was smart enough and she had to know since she and her friends rolled up in her spot to get a quick nut and spoiled like all hell. one of the reasons beyoncé liked ariana was how she carried herself. even on the first night. beyoncé easily could read people since she was mostly an observer. ariana was one the only person besides her two best friends that she didn’t talk to her about business or whatever. ariana just talked to her normally. she didn’t ask her what she didn’t do day in or day out or all her business was; she treated beyoncé like a friend first and that was everything to beyoncé at this point of her life. ariana was the ‘i want to know everything, fuck small talk’ type and she took advantage of that. beyoncé told her everything she could think of over a year they were together. the good and ugly. her fears, her mental illnesses, her dreams. even things she has not told even her best friends on earth. beyoncé still hasn’t told her about nicki. that’s a wound she didn’t want to unload on her or ever but she knew it would eventually come.

ariana didn’t have family die like beyoncé but her last ex overdosed two years before she met beyoncé. ariana was such a sensitive and caring soul. the way she talked about him and everything she goes through post him made beyoncé ache for her. she pulled ariana in a hug when she started to talk about him and her thoughts on all that for the first time. beyoncé held her when she cried uncontrollably over him and her pain. beyoncé then realized they were completely too similar and wanted to keep her safe since that day. 

.

the aftermath was a miscommunication on purpose. beyoncé started to shut her out because she fell in love with ariana and she didn’t want her to die as nicki did. she couldn’t have her heart go cold again so she slowly started to retract. she stopped calling her. she stopped throwing stacks at her because she did and could for no reason (that was her girl. of course she was gonna treat her). ariana thought she started seeing someone else. six months ago, ariana got super fed up and confronted her at her place. beyoncé was stoic on the outside, showing no emotion. no anger or surprise she was being accused; just blank as possible because she wanted things to go and she didn’t want to say anything they both would regret. ariana would stop calling her and that’s how it should be. 

.

“so. you got another girl?”

“nah.”

“so… what? what is it?” what is it!”

“i never cheated on you, ariana. i wouldn’t do that to you.”

ariana scoffed and beyoncé inwardly flinched but she kept her composure, no matter how much that hurt her. she loved ariana but she didn’t want to say it or could right now. she’d rather have ariana think she found someone better. she didn’t or ever would anymore, ariana was it for her but she wanted to keep her safe vs have ariana six feet underground.

“you never loved me. you never did. i thought you did.” beyoncé was close to tears again. she had to bite her tongue from saying anything. it was silent for a few moments. the blonde girl was so furious at her and beyoncé had to stop looking at her because this was making her heart ache. 

ariana snapped. “i wasted almost two years with you for you to now fucking avoid me! if it’s not another bitch then who is it! what the fuck is wrong with you!” 

beyoncé couldn’t take this so she stood up suddenly and just looked in ariana in her eyes with the softest expression she could muster without her facade breaking. ariana’s anger subsided a little but she was still so confused. beyoncé ran her hand across ariana’s delicate cheek then held her.

“ariana. i have to keep you and my heart safe. i can’t do this right now. i’m sorry,” ariana backed away slowly, the anger coming back at bay. 

“you’re just gonna give us up? with no explanation as to why?”

beyoncé stayed silent. ariana just shook her head silently and started to walk out the door. beyoncé felt the air leave her body. she didn’t want this to happen at all. 

“i love you, beyoncé. i thought you should know that.” ariana gave her a sad look before slamming the door shut. 

beyoncé sobbed for the first time in years after that. body wracking sobs. the last time she cried that much was when nicki was killed.

.

_they say you can't turn a bad girl good. but once a good girl's gone bad, she's gone forever. i'll mourn forever_

.

“hi, ari,” beyoncé said airly, stepping to the side letting ariana come in. ariana walked around the living room a bit, taking in her surroundings.

beyoncé didn’t know how to start or formulate her thoughts. she had so much to say. she had so much to say to ariana who was blonde before today, dyed her hair light brown and had honey blonde highlights, having two cute small space buns on each side of her head currently, the rest of hair down. beyoncé thought that suited her. beyoncé just watched her walk around her place. ariana then went into her bedroom (well, once theirs. they spent the most time there plus the kitchen)

ariana took off her special black nike air max’s, custom made by beyoncé's doing (she started wearing sneakers more because of beyoncé’s influence anyway) and crawled up on the right side of the bed and curled up with one her pillows, taking her scent in whilst closing her eyes. beyoncé’s heart started to squeeze at the sight. beyoncé then took off her heels and got on the opposite side, laying straight and now looking up at her ceiling which had chandelier lights hanging off it. beyoncé heard ariana breathe softly and shuffled, trying to get more comfortable. 

beyoncé swallowed and inhaled and exhaled before speaking. “when i was 28, i met this girl named nicki. she was my whole world. she made me love again and she made realize that there’s more to life than slanging drugs. i never had a love like that before ever in my life. i thought i was gonna marry her, i truly thought i was going to. in a lot of ways, she was my first everything. i had many relationships but i’ve never been in fucking love like she made me feel; an infinite love. that love that makes you glad you’re on this wretched earth for a limited time. i was gonna stop and go to paris with her. forever. leave this life behind me,”

the older woman took another breath, running her fingers through her microbraids again. beyoncé kept looking at the ceiling before continuing. “when i just turned 30, she was killed by a sniper by a rival gang. they were specifically out for me because i must have crossed one of their boys over a bad deal or some shit in the past. i slowly broke it off with you because i didn’t want--” 

beyoncé suddenly shot up and started gasping out loud. she was trying to calm herself down before going on a full episode. ariana was about to react until beyoncé started to frantically speak once more.

“i wanted to end things because i can’t deal with you dying too! i don’t want my heart to go cold again. i can’t. i can’t! i can’t!” 

ariana was starting to see beyoncé was about to go into an extreme panic attack so ariana just held on to her and started to sing softly whilst kissing her forehead. beyoncé was shaking so badly while sobbing. ariana was reacting quickly because she knew beyoncé had them in private, vulnerable moments but this was probably the worst she’s ever seen it. ariana held her closer as beyoncé sobbed loudly.

“i never want to lose you! i love you! i love you so much! i never want to lose you! never! never!” beyoncé choked out hoarsely with tears still streaming down her face.

ariana held on to her and kept singing, while she, herself cried softly too. she never saw beyoncé this defeated and afraid. she didn’t expect beyoncé to say she was in love with her like this either. 

.

ariana kept doing that until beyoncé slowly relaxed minutes later. she didn’t know how much time passed at this point and she didn’t care either. 

she was in utter shock still. what she thought about beyoncé was wrong and she felt horrible for accusing things 6 months ago. she didn’t know what to think anymore. in the back of her mind, she wanted something like this to happen… just not in the form of a breakdown.

beyoncé started to stir in ariana’s arms after she had an attack so intensely, she exhausted herself out, taking a small nap. 

beyoncé breathed out softly while ariana started to play with beyoncé’s braids.

“hi, beautiful,” 

beyoncé adjusting herself now looking up in ariana’s doe brown eyes. beyoncé could look in them forever and she smiled thinking about that, looking up at her.

“hi.” 

they just looked at each other for a few moments before beyoncé spoke again.

“i’m sorry,”

“you have nothing to be sorry for, bey,”

“i do!” beyoncé sat up to face ariana directly face to face. beyoncé then grabbed the smaller girl’s hands to hold them in hers, interlocking fingers.

“i never thought i would fall in love like this again. i thought nicki would be the only person i would want to be with. when she died, i was so hurt. i was so lost. i went after the people who killed her and when i went to the actual person that shot her, i tortured him then i shot him in the head like he did nicki. my heart just felt like it was a black vortex then. normani and shawn said that time was so worrisome. they kept me on close watch because they thought i was gonna kill someone else or myself. i became so distant, even to those two. i didn’t want that to happen again with you so i wanted to keep my distance with you. even more so when i knew i fell in love with you. she died when i was 30, the same age as you now,”

beyoncé swung her arms lightly, still interlocking her fingers with ariana’s.

“do you remember when that night you were rambling about your favorite songs to play on guitar and you were so happy and animated? the lights were dim and the moonlight was hitting beautifully on your face and a dimple was popping out with your smile. that’s when i fell in love with you. 4 months in our relationship. i knew you were the one. i wanted to see you that happy forever. since i met you. i’ve been trying to give my dynasty to shawn only. he’s a businessman. i grew in that role but that’s not who i want to do business for. i’ve been trying to break away slowly. i can’t just give it up easily. when i had access to leave the united states for good, i was gonna find you and ask you to come with me. we would still be on the run so to speak, but you would not be harmed in my backyard and that’s a better alternative. i was gonna find you but normani told me to shut the fuck up and stop moping because she was tired of me whining that i missed you every night,”

beyoncé laughed before continuing, ariana joining in.

“i thought about you every night, i’m serious. i’m serious about giving this shit up. i’m about to leave my 30s. i don’t want to keep doing this. i have dreams. i want to make people happy with my art. i want you. i want to be with you,”

ariana unlinked her hands with beyoncé

“i thought you hated me. i thought i was useless to you. i hated myself because you wouldn’t call me. you wouldn’t touch me anymore. i didn’t hear your voice daily. i hated that. i wanted to hear that you loved me for months now,”

ariana put her hand on beyoncé’s right cheek and she took in beyoncé’s features. she was so beautiful to her. beyoncé leaned in ariana’s touch. 

“i fell in love with you when you were talking about what happened to your family. i saw a new side of you that night. i thought that was an honor; you wanted to be vulnerable with me, that you wanted to share personal things with me. i love all sides of you but the times you say your deepest thoughts is something i love the most. we were dating for 3 months then.” 

beyoncé opened her eyes again and looked at ariana with tears in her eyes.

“i love you, ariana.”

ariana took her left hand and put it on the other side of beyoncé’s cheek.

“i love you so much, beyoncé. more than ever.”

beyoncé leaned in closer, pausing. ariana leaned in too to put her forehead against hers. they just stayed like that for a while, smiling. 

beyoncé then closed the gap and kissed ariana after months, ariana accepting it. beyoncé kissed her so deeply, trying to make her understand how she felt for months now. she wasn’t giving her regular kisses or wanting to make out with her normally, she wanted her to know how much she was missed and how important she was to the smaller woman. ariana responded in the same fashion, more intensely, even.

they had to pull back to breathe.

“holy fuck,” beyoncé murmured and ariana giggled softly. 

“i love you, my pretty princess.”

“i love you, daddy yoncé.” 

ariana smirked while she started kissing beyoncé again, adding tongue knowing that drives beyoncé insane and telling her what she wants to do now: and that is fucking her senseless. ariana laid her down now and they both took off their clothes in record time. 

they spent a moment looking at each other bodies, ariana feeling the other woman’s abs. 

“what you want for the night?” beyoncé breathing softly loving the sensation of ariana’s hands on her stomach.

ariana hummed. “dicked down.” her voice emphasizing dick cutely. then she got off the bed to get their favorite strap out of the corner container of toys in her huge walk-in closet. ariana threw it at her when she came back into the room, then crawled on the king-sized bed to face beyoncé directly, who was standing off it. 

“lie on your back, babe,” beyoncé demanded, putting a slick layer of lube on the toy. beyoncé then stepped back a couple of small steps, pulling ariana more to the edge where her feet are touching the floor.

beyoncé wanted to take this moment in. the room was mostly now lit by the moon and city lights since she put the lights on a low setting. beyoncé looked down at ariana on the bed and the moon was reflecting on her face again, with the same smile she always had. beyoncé felt her heart grow three sizes again. at that moment, she realized she wanted ariana by her side for the rest of her life. 

“you’re so beautiful, bambi,” 

ariana smiled even bigger, her dimple showing again. 

“i love you so much. i missed you,”

beyoncé then grinned at the love of her life. 

“i missed you too, baby. let me show you how much…” beyoncé trailed off, running the tip of her nail outside ariana’s wet folds, watching her take a sharp breath in.

beyoncé then took ariana’s legs and hiked them up on her hips, entering in her slowly. 

“you ready, baby?” beyoncé’s voice got deeper than usual when she got horny and ariana already could get off her deep voice alone any time of the day so that made her extremely wetter.

ariana just nodded.

beyoncé started stroking slowly then went faster, how ariana liked it. ariana then buckled her hips upward for beyoncé to pound her walls just right and for beyoncé to feel the vibrations on her clit.

“mhm… i hope you know--” beyoncé moaned out slowly when she felt the vibrations intensely on her and ariana’s moans too, pounding faster in her.

“...i touched myself every night thinking about you. mhm, fuck… and i know you do the same... because you’re a fucking slut.”

they both simultaneously getting louder. scream levels. beyoncé going as deep and as fast as she could and how ariana liked it

“every time you nut, i’m always on that pretty little brain of yours. you wanted to watch me too,” beyoncé scream-barking at this point and ariana moaning as loud as she wanted. 

“you always want to see daddy cum for you and i wanted you to see me, bitch,” 

the noises coming out of both of them were becoming more broken.

“fuck! keep it right there, daddy,” ariana moaned out much as she could then beyoncé pumped with no mercy. 

“wait, i’m close too,” beyoncé hissed, then gave out a long moan.

a few moments later, ariana came and then did seconds after her. beyoncé’s movements halted until she felt ariana’s body stop jolting. beyoncé pulled out slowly then ariana grabbed beyoncé’s arm to make her fall on the bed. beyoncé and ariana switched spots. ariana then sat on the strap in reverse cowgirl, making it enter her other hole.

“wait, don’t move yet,” beyoncé said, shifting her leg in a comfortable spot. 

“okay. talk that shit now, babygirl.” beyoncé now placing her hands on ariana’s lower hips, slowly feeling the vibration on her clit while ariana was riding the toy from the back.

“oh, shit. yous one nasty bitch, huh?” beyoncé moaned out while slapping ariana’s ass making the tiny girl cry out louder. 

beyoncé didn’t say anything else, she just let ariana take the dick and they now both just listened to the sounds they were making, missing this and each other for half a year now but it felt like an eternity. beyoncé missed her girl, not even on this level but mentally and emotionally. she loved her so much and she wasn’t gonna mess this up again. 

ariana came again and then beyoncé followed her. they were always in sync. always and forever. 

.

beyoncé and ariana were now spooning, the former being the big one. 

“i missed you, my baby,”

“i missed you too, bey. everyday. you were right earlier. i did touch myself every night thinking about you, wishing you were there.” ariana said dreamily. “i’m glad we’re here again,”

“me too, angel.” 

“you want to give all this shit up for me? this house? the money? the notoriety?” ariana asked, almost in disbelief. 

beyoncé took no time to say “absolutely. i would do anything for you.” beyoncé took a long pause before saying. “you are worth more than drug money and being feared. you make me feel loved and belonged because you care about me as a person. just me, beyoncé giselle knowles, with no aliases or sexy nicknames. you just know me and you love me. that’s what i’ve wanted all my life.”

ariana felt her heart skipped.

“you’re the best person i met, baby. i can’t wait to run away with you.”

.

_on repeat, the cd of big's "me & my bitch". watchin' bonnie and clyde, pretendin' to be that shit_

.

three weeks after ariana and beyoncé reconciled, beyoncé started to move out of brooklyn and her reign slowly. beyoncé dapped up then hugged rihanna, real name robyn, and her alias was cardinal when she left her main office. her other trusted confidant and good friend. 

“gonna miss you, bey! don’t be a stranger, bitch!” beyoncé smiled so big at her. 

“never that, cardinal. i’ll be annoying you monthly via facetime. i’ll miss you.” yelling out, when she took her last box out to her car, rihanna waving with a cackle and sad smile.

she made shawn and normani the head of everything like it should be. she told them if she got word if anything happened to them or vice versa, that they got it handled. normani and shawn both hugged beyoncé for dear life. they were both her family and they would always be. she’s gonna miss them the most. she didn’t want to leave them but she wanted to grow up and not have this lifestyle anymore.

“bluethroat & hummingbird, i love y’all. don’t fuck it up the dynasty too badly now.” beyoncé said with a laugh when she closed her trunk. beyoncé stuck her head out the window when she drove off, with ariana in the passenger seat waving goodbye at beyoncé's found family, all of them waving back.

.

“where are we going anyway?” 

“i want to visit rome again if that’s okay?”

.

“i want to marry you one day too.”

“huh? you serious?!”

“fuck yeah, baby. we about to start that new life shit right. and i want to spend my entire life with you. i love you forever.”

.

_i can't see 'em comin' down my eyes, so i gotta make the song cry_

.

**end.**


End file.
